292 words
by Eric Wong
I was one of the lucky kids that got to play an organized sport as a child. I officially joined a baseball team when I was 9. I was always active as a child and loved to go out and just exercise. I was so excited for my 1st day at practice that I couldn’t even sleep the night before. It was a great way to meet new people when you are young. It provides something for you to do when you are out of school. It reduced the chance of me getting hurt outside in the streets and prevented bad things from happening to me.
I remember always asking my parents if I can join for a season all the time. I not only got to be on for a season, but I did it for 3 years. I remember all the great times I had and always wondered what I could have done if I wasn’t on a baseball team. Watch T.v, ride my bike, go to playground? What choices did I really have when I’m in 4th-5th grade? At the time I wasn’t living in the greatest safest neighborhood, but it sure wasn’t the worst. The kids I knew from school that lived nearby weren’t really the best influences I had. I was glad I had a place like the baseball diamond to enjoy.
I believe all parents should allow their younger kids to go join a team if given the chance or opportunity to do so. It provides a safe domain for your children and the ability to even learn skills needed in life such as leadership, respect, confidence and the experience to succeed. I believe kids should participate in an organized team sport when they are young.
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I agree that by allowing kids to participate in things such as sports or clubs we are preventing them from falling off track. One thing that I think would make your paper really strong would be to start out with your experience of not being able to sleep due to your excitement for practice. Go through all the emotions you felt and then proceed to explain how important it is to have those opportunities.
ReplyDeleteI really like your I believe Eric, good luck on your final paper.
That's a great essay, and a good message. I too got to play in leagues when I was younger. Some of the best times of my life. All I got from this essay was positive energies, which is good, following guidelines. I think you had a good amount of emotion, but a little bit more wouldn't be bad. Good work.
ReplyDeleteGood essay. You communicated your message well and in a personal way, and the essay was positive/up-beat. The only problem I saw was some of your grammar in the second paragraph, but I don't know if we lose points for stuff like that.
ReplyDelete-Brian Carroll
Has slightly similar tone with my essay :D yeah, I feel the same way, that parents should educate their kids right way, and give them liberty to do what would influence them greatly(in a good way). Personally my idea was inspired from "Big Daddy", 1999 film that depicts an adoptive father letting his son do whatever they would like to do.
ReplyDeleteI think you should work on your intro. It just doesn't seem to flow. However, i get what your trying to get across. I don't know how much I believe in it, but it's cool.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you. Every child should have at least some exposure to sports at a young age and if not joining a team, they should just be aware of physical exercise. I was a baseball player in high school and I have had the most fun of my life playing it!
ReplyDeleteI agree with your essay becasue I participated in sports when I was younger and my parents never forced me to play. I think that children should learn a healthy lifestyle and be active but i dont believe that parents should not force their kids to participate in organized sports.
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